Rock Lee's Advice
by Tara Terra
Summary: Rock Lee has a talk show. WARNING: Too much Lee will make your brain explode. Also, he sings.


Warning: This is a fictional character answering the problems of fictional people. If you have any of these problems, do not use these solutions without consulting knowledgable people first. That is all.

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"Welcome to Rock Lee's Advice, starring your host, ROCK LEE!" Guy shouted enthusiastically, amid applause.

"I am Rock Lee, a Shinobi that cannot use ninjutsu. I am a taijutsu expert and can discover the secrets of the heart and of youth. In my new talk show, I will interview some people and answer their burning questions. Also, at the end of the show, we will have at least one special ninja guest." Lee told the crowd enthusiastically.

"Now, for our first guest, please welcome, KATIE SCOTT!" Guy yelled.

"Now Katie, what is wrong?" Lee asked.

"Lee, I want to try out for hockey, but I'm small and afraid of getting hurt. What should I do?" Katie asked.

"If hockey is your dream, work hard and go for it! Let nothing stop you!" Lee told her. Katie left happy and then Lee turned to Guy and asked, "What is hockey by the way?"

"Never mind Lee, that's not important." Guy said. "Now, our second guest is a young man named Drake, who needs a bit of help."

"Hi Lee. Thank you for your time. I've been jealous of a girl in English class named Taranee. Taranee is a much better writer than I am, and she is really nice and honest. She doesn't notice me, so lately I've been accusing her of stealing other people's work and lying. I've even filed reports to the principal. She notices me now, but hates me. I know I should stop, but I crave her attention. What do I do?" Drake asked.

"First you need to stop, NOW! YOU ARE WASTING YOUR YOUTH! Next, you must give her a heartfelt apology. And finally, do not expect her to want to talk to you ever and leave her alone." Lee scolded him.

"I'm sorry, I-I can't!" Drake screamed as he ran out of the studio and right into a very hungry Zetsu, who ate him, off screen.

"Now," Guy announced, "It's time for our special ninja guest. Please welcome, the one, the only, the incredibly youthful, HINATA HYUGA!"

"Now, Hinata, I'm guessing you want to ask me how to best approach Naruto. Am I right?" Lee asked.

"Y-yes Lee," Hinata said. "H-how can I ask N-Naruto? I-I'm not that brave. He's just s-so confident, I w-wish I was too."

"Hinata, just go up to him and talk to him. It'll work out." Lee reassured her.

"Thanks Lee," Hinata said as she left.

"Now before we go, it is time for a song by Rock Lee," Guy announced.

"Time to hear my new song! It's my theme song!" Lee shouted.

Then he began to sing:

"Give Lee! Give Lee! A running start to break through common sense  
Make Lee! Heart Lee! The one who decides  
Come now terrible Rock Lee!

Feel the fruit of great effort with your eye and body  
Shake none other than yourself, your heart, your limbs

Keep on training, have faith in your hope  
Be grateful! Be passionate! High spirited!  
Seize all sorts of preparation FULL POWER with your fist

Give Lee! Give Lee! A hand to roll up his sleeve and muster his strength  
Now Lee! Who Lee! Never mind all  
Go! That is Rock Lee!

Proof of courage surely in this hand  
Flood none other than yourself with tears and smiles  
Spread out the future with preceding training  
Let's make a rosy future! Keep the spirit high!  
Decide FULL POWER victory with your resoluteness

Give Lee! Give Lee! A go to break through the limits  
How Lee! Key Lee! To be brave!  
Now! Shine Rock Lee!

To what extend distant is your dream?  
You make me feel so good. Don't cry!  
Now run and embrace your hot desire! So run away!

Give Lee! Give Lee! A crawl up to hone up his skill  
With Lee's powered TALL BIG KICK  
Now! Fight Rock Lee!

Give Lee! Give Lee! A running start to break through common sense  
Make Lee! Heart Lee! The one who decides  
Come now terrible Rock Lee!"

The audience clapped and Guy began to cry happily.

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Well, I hope everyone is still sane after that. Please review!


End file.
